Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
