is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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