I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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