Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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