What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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