im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
