I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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