Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
