So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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