Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
