No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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