So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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