The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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