Whod you bang
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize