I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
