just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
