I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
