She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize