I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize