I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
