Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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