I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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