God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
