So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
