I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
