Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
