Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Michael Bay diarrhea
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
