I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
