I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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