I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
