I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
