Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
