Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
