You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
