im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
