I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
