I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
