Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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