still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
