you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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