how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
