My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
