We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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