I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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