dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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