Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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