woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
