I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
