you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
