...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
