Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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