i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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