TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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