i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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