I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I am midnight drunk by noon
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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