Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
