Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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