Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
