i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
