I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How naked do you want me to be?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
