Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
