I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
