she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
