From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
