I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
