yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
