I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dude i'm inner monologue high
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
