The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize