No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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