I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
