I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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