what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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