I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
